A cynical touchstone: Shun Or Save?

A few days ago,  I caught myself doing an unplanned act of charity. It was an act of kindness directed at a kid begging at the traffic signal. A member of the same lot that normally get a lot of sneers from me. But, what got me thinking was the reason behind my act of kindness that particular day. I realized that I was sparing some "kindness" in order to feel a little less guilty for my own actions. 

My favourite restaurant makes money off me because I love gorging on their food. The shoemakers I worship, certainly do not sell me shoes because of what a pair of Manolo Blahnik would mean in my life, but because they would add a little more fortune to their rising multi-million dollar business. Well if ROI had such a vital role to play in decision-making, then why is a cynic shunned?

Every cycle of communication has a inbuilt cycle of feedback, without which it isn't complete. The cynical touchstones in our lives are giving us something that  Master Card certainly cannot buy, honest feedback. 

" Did you spend that much on  shoe? A poor family in Korea can live for two months with that money"-Honest Feedback. " You sound more like a Stepmother "-Honest Feedback. "You should lose a few kilos or some french fries"-honest feedback. "When you have a fabulous job which pays you well, then why do you need a man to buy you things"-honest feedback. 

If relationships are to based on values like honesty, trust and respect; why would you want that cynic out of your life, just because he/ she is being honest?  Where is the sense of your ROI, now? Why would you want a pile of lies, when you can have a person giving you honest feedback? Is it because you are proud of your flaws or is it because truth is too ugly, when it is said out loud? 

Let's face it (Just like a cynic would). Whatever maybe your reason, without the Cynical Touchstones pointing out loopholes, every one of us would just be stepping into rat traps, unprepared.

Its easier not say , "Ah. My boyfriend dumped me because I am fat" or " I maxed out all my credit card" or

 " I am broke again, and I realized I cant eat shoes and live". The world would be a better place to live-in without these forgettable happenings in every one of our lives.

Why wake up and smell the coffee when it is too late? Wake up and listen to your cynical friend or cousin or work-mate look you in the eye and give you some honest and much needed-feedback. Our world needs people who do not let their logic get affected because of the emotions they undergo or the emotions they might impose. You see, our world today, needs cynical touchstones, so that it doesn't fall apart later. 

Uncheck the checking out.

Owing to my recent renunciation of car-pooling, I now travel to work like a lone ranger in a desi sawari.  One resultant side-effect that immediately cropped due to this was me dreading all the days I woke up to the urge of dolling up. I am well aware that a well-dressed woman draws quite a few glances. That it something that happens anywhere in the world.

But my country has taken this to another level all together. These days on my way to work,  I get some appreciative honks. I have some dudes pretending to be not-so-navigation friendly, asking for directions. I have strangers passing me by, muttering a “looking good” and vehicles trying to speed-up and overtake for no reason. While, during most instances this leaves the taxi wallah baffled, it makes me think, am I a fragment of someone else’s imagination with no choice about it?

If the term “checking-out” refer to a process of mentally copying an image so that men can edit it later as per their convenience, that is.

From a purely psychological perspective, every choice we make, is preceded by the process of checking-out. For example, we check-out the entire collection of clothes only to pick one or two that fit-in. That makes me wonder, if a woman passing by is merely an option before a guy checks out the entire passer-by collection to determine which visual segment he is going to choose to temporarily titillate his senses.

What does that make us women, the contents of a magazine? If the dynamics between both the sexes is steadily evolving, where there is fine balance in wearing the pants and winning bread, then why are the dynamics of “checking-out” primitive?  Given a chance, would women in our country choose to be equal by checking out the male-counterparts in return. Or would they choose to be known for finer traits like elegance, grace and charm?

Forget freedom at midnight advocated by Gandhi. If a woman can travel on the city streets during the day and not feel disgusted about it, then I’d consider that to be a truly free country.

Unquote the quote?

On one hand Ayn Rand says, any process of creation is deduction and the process of understanding the creation is induction. (Logically that leaves a lot of room for assumption). On the other hand, some whacky source spread the quote, to assume is to make an ass of u(you) and me. There!  Two existing notions negating one another perfectly…sounds familiar, right?

I am sure every one of you would have been a part of a situation where what your friend advocated negated what your mum says. Or what your dad says indirectly condemned what your sibling said. That brings me to, are we a generation overburdened by the ever so confusing notions of the older generation? I mean if the early bird catches the worm, then why does slow and steady win the race? If beauty is skin deep, then how come it lies in the eyes of the beholder?

Sometimes I feel that these notions or wisecracks are nice sounding word strings that make us feel good. We quote them during conversations. Weave them into our television content. Tell our kids about it. In doing so, we proudly flaunt the information collected by someone else; the life lived by someone else. But what we really end up doing is advertising notions with polar opposites.

True, our generation of kids still hold values close to their hearts. One of them is never telling a parent or an elder that they are wrong, even if they are. But how can we comfortably assume that the next generation would follow suit? What if their logic kicks in and they negate every existing notion with another good one?

Quoting Edward de Bono, “You can only know if a notion is strong enough when you pit it against something laterally opposite to it”. While the confines of society and civilization scream out loud that the past notions should be revered, optimists like me are definitely hopeful that a few pioneers in our generation would proudly announce notions that do not negate each other.

I’ve to close this little talk right here because the Manager says time and tide waits for none but hey, haven’t someone also said, better late than never. ;)